Let me tell you a story ...
There was a little boy who always wanted to make his parents proud. He wanted to be funny, good at school, good at sports, and a son that any parent could love. He was very hard on himself, because unless he was pleasing those around him, he didn't feel like he was worth much. He just wanted to be a good boy, so that his family would be happy.
From the outside, he was the class joker, and he was always happy. He had lots of friends, but that didn't mean that there weren't bullies out there that would target him. When he got to a certain age, the bullies in the school had learned new ways of teasing and hurting feelings.
Over the next few years, popular or not, those bullies called him fag, gay, queer, faggot, girly, homo, little girl ... and you can imagine how that would hurt a little kid. And if you can't empathize, then replace those words with ugly, fat, poor, stupid, and any other word that you might find hurtful.
He didn't really worry about himself, but he never wanted his parents, or sister, or family to hear those words. He thought, "How can anyone be proud of me if I am teased and called names? How can anyone love me, if I am those things?"
He didn't want his parents to worry about him.
A time came, when his parents were made aware of the teasing, and it was the most embarrassing day of that little boy's life. He was very ashamed. He didn't want them to know that every time he walked into a bathroom, an assembly, a classroom, a locker room, a school concert ... he felt sick and feared that someone would ridicule him, and that they would witness it. He was so afraid that they would hear it and think, "I wish I had another son." He just wanted to be "normal." He never wanted them to hear or see someone yell out "Faggot," when he walked in, because he, himself, didn't know what he had done to be disliked by certain boys and girls.
This was a different time, and bullying happened and it was not addressed in the ways it is now. He always tried to put on a brave face, and reply "school was good," when asked. Even if it had not been "good."
The teasing never fully stopped, but it turned into rumors about him as he got to high school. He turned to not eating, and focusing on how he looked. He turned to finding ways to take care of himself, so that no one could ever target him again. Maybe if he was class President? That didn't fix the rumors. Maybe if he was snobby, he could defend himself from others? That didn't fix the rumors. Nothing fixed the rumors, but he did make it through.
He grew up. He finished college. And, he finally did come out, but it was hard, because he didn't want to prove those kids and people right, after all those years of saying, "I'm not gay. Please leave me alone." He didn't want to admit that he had spent a lot of nights crying in his room, because he was so nervous about what the next day of school would be like.
He is now a proud gay man. He was lucky to have an amazing family and friends. He was lucky that he didn't go down another path. Now, those types of words, don't faze him. He is all grown up now, and has a tougher skin. He can now see, that he didn't do anything wrong. He didn't make them dislike him. They had their own issues, fears, and probably, shitty home life.
Why do I tell this story? I tell it because we all have buttons people can push, and at any age we can get our feelings hurt. The other day I was reminded of this, and I got my feelings hurt by a stranger, and until I started writing this, I was ready to let them get away with it. No! That person is not going to hurt me, because she isn't worth it.
It is no one's right to dump personal garbage on other people. None of us have the right to be hurtful and cruel to others. It is no one's right to bully other people. If you are a bully, then you have your own baggage, so deal with that in a healthy way, and don't be a douche bag that no one wants to be around.
The next time I, or you, want to make a joke at another person's (or groups) expense, stop and think it over. Like Thumper from "Bambi" said, "If I don't have something nice to say, then don't say nothin' at all." That person that you want to laugh at, mock, point out to your friends, or bully, has a mom, a dad, a sister, kids, grandparents, loved ones, friends ... they are just like you, and they don't deserve to be made to feel bad by anyone else. They have their own story filled with fears, joys, dreams, jobs, families, pasts and you most likely have something in common with them. All any of us can do is survive and keep on going, so don't make it harder for anyone else.
If you don't have something nice to say and something positive to contribute, then keep it to yourself. Life is hard enough, so let's support one another, and not tare each other down.
What would the world look like, if we could celebrate each other, instead of dumping our personal garbage on each other.
Think it over...
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