THE WORLD IS SAD & WHAT'S NEXT?

I woke up this morning, and I grabbed my journal. I am not a writer and I am NOT a poet, but I had to write something. 

I see the news, almost daily anymore, and there is so much tragedy, and I can't process it. I also learned of a friend's passing, and I can't process that. 

I can only imagine what the loved ones of those the world has lost are going through and feeling. I don't pray, but they are on my thoughts, and I wish them peace.

QUESTIONS

This morning I woke up, and I remembered that you are gone.

How can that be?

Where did you go?

I didn’t get a chance to say good-bye.

This morning I woke up, and I had so many questions.

Why did this happen?

What could I have done?

I didn’t know that yesterday would be our last day together. 

This morning I woke up, and I realized that I was all cried out.

What do I do now?

How do I go forward?

I won’t have the chance to hug you before you go to sleep. 

This morning I woke up, and I stepped into a new life.

What am I to do?

Where am I supposed to go?

I don’t want to do this alone, and I want answers to my questions. 

Tonight I am going to get into bed, and I will still have questions.

What happens next?

Will I ever see you again?

I don’t want to hurt anymore, but the hurt reminds me that you were real. 

Tonight I am going to go to sleep, and I hope you join me in a dream.

Can you tell me if you are safe?

Can you tell me if there is something after this life?

I don’t think I’m as strong as you are, and the questions haunt me.

Tomorrow I will wake up, and you will still be gone.

Did you know that I loved you?

Were you happy?

I won’t let myself melt away, because tomorrow I live for you. 

I will live for us both.

I AM MAKING A DECLARATION!!

I know that my passion is making people laugh and entertaining people, and I love creating other people. 

I must go back to pursuing what I came here to do!

Now...let's see what I come up with...

WHAT IF I DON'T WAKE UP "ME" NEXT TIME?

Last night I had a dream that I woke up with facial paralysis after my incident with the blood clots. 

In reality I did not have facial paralysis. One side was some what numb for a few months, and my sensation when touching things with my fingers was diminished, but I woke up ME. I was a some what broken version, but it was still me. I still remember most of my time recuperating, and all of the things that were said to me, done to me, etc.  

Once in a while I have a dream, like last night, and it reminds me that maybe next time, since they can't tell me what triggered it, I won't wake up ME. 

This brings up questions that only I can answer for myself. What would I do? How would life go on? Who would stay by my side if it was that severe? 

I hope I never have to find out. I woke up "Me," but something doesn't feel the same. I know that this journey is not over, and I know one day I will face it again, but for the time being I am working out what I need to work out. 

I am on a journey to find Me and what I am suppose to do in this world.

BLEEDING AND READY FOR CHANGE...

This is what happens when a person is on blood thinners, and their shoes cut into the back of their ankles after a 10 minute walk.

I am sick of the path life has taken me on the last 2 years, so I think I need to take control of things, and show life how it's done.

I have my "To Do" list and I am ready to start checking. Finding my bliss is one of the items, and I intend on getting there.